


World's Greatest Detective

by Sidhewrites



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Green Lantern (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Batlantern - Freeform, Gift Giving, Lanterns are basically cats, M/M, Pining, World's Greatest Detective my ass, background Jay/Kyle, bringing gifts to people they like, bruce is an idiotic genius, his family is so done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 18:27:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20086756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sidhewrites/pseuds/Sidhewrites
Summary: Bruce has been receiving mysterious gifts and he's bound and determined to find out who's behind it and why.





	World's Greatest Detective

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kontent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kontent/gifts).

> Prompt from tumblr.
> 
> Offer Me + Batlantern, maybe? Hal keeps giving Bruce things, and it takes Bruce way too long to understand why. Bonus points: Alfred (and maybe the kids) being exasperated by Bruce - World's Greatest Detective who?

He doesn’t know how or why, or if someone is just trying to be funny, but he will get to the bottom of it.

Bruce frowns, blue eyes dark with suspicion, as he stares down at the object in his hand. A simple clear case, filled with iridescent blue, green, and purple stones. Left sitting innocently on his work bench in the Cave.

This wasn’t the first time he had discovered something left for him in recent weeks.

The first was just over a month ago. A simple envelope taped to the door of his quarters on the Watchtower. It had been a set of 3 tickets to a ballet and classical theater fusion performance of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He had been suspicious then, but had remembered mentioning the play in passing one day to Clark and Diana before a meeting, and how much Jason and Cassandra would both enjoy it. So hadn’t thought much about it beyond that, thinking that one of his friends or another league member overheard, and had acquired some tickets.

It wouldn’t be the first time that such an occurrence had happened; though never to himself.

A week later there had been a completed and closed case file on his desk in his office. Also at the Watchtower. A string of sporadic robberies in Gotham, all surrounding occult and space enthusiast shops. The thief had been going for similar objects in all of them. Toys, models, and replicas of communication devices. The case had been a thorn in his side for nearly two weeks.

He had consulted several out-of-planet League members about the robberies, and they had given him a few options to try and suss out the obviously stranded alien.

Then, like magic, the case file had appeared on his desk. The day before he was planning on implementing his first strategy.

Flipping through it didn’t reveal the one responsible, but it did explain the mystery.

A wandering Czarnian’s ship had been hit by a meteor and they had crash landed on Earth. Their translator had been damaged and so they were unable to communicate. Having scared one human already, they did not want to risk causing a panic. Instead, they had broke into several establishments that looked like they might have what the Czarnian needed to get help. The stranded alien not realizing they were novelty shops.

Reading through the file hadn’t narrowed down his parameters as to who could be leaving him such things; the way it was written not giving a clue to the report writers identity. He could at least ask those who had been on, or around, Earth at the time about who had solved his case. However when he asked both John and Jessica the two Lanterns denied knowing anything about it. J'onn was also at a loss, as he had been across the planet helping with a humanitarian effort, along with some members of Young Justice.

He was left bewildered and without answers. Again.

Which brought him to his current problem, and third gift. A collection of interesting minerals that he had expressed interest in some months ago on a mission with the JLA. There was a sample that was large enough to keep for display purposes. There were also several other smaller samples that he could experiment with, and try to synthesize duplicates using elements easier to find on Earth.

The click of shoes on metal and stone, as someone descends the staircase into the Cave, distracts him briefly from his thoughts. He looks up to see Tim and Alfred making their way down the spiral stairs, and feels a bit of relief. Tim had been on that mission with them, along with Nightwing.

He could ask Tim.

If any of his sons had noticed something off about that mission, and could shed a light on the mystery person behind these…gifts, it would be his third son.

“Tim. Do you know anything about this?” Bruce holds up the case of minerals as soon as Tim is close enough.

“Are those the deposits you had mentioned a few months ago?”

“Yes. Do you know where they came from.”

“From space, B. Remember?”

The smirk Tim has on his face has Bruce rolling his eyes. Tim is usually so straight-faced and serious, that everyone, including Bruce himself, often forgets that Tim has a biting wit and keen sense of humor when he wants to. There’s a reason Tim and Jason get along so well.

Alfred huffs a quiet laugh as he makes his way to the medical area, to start on his inventory for the week.

Bruce takes a breath, asking the universe for patience. “Yes, Tim, I remember. I meant more how did they get in the Cave.”

Tim takes the case from Bruce once he reaches him, turning it over in his hands. He stops when he sees the familiar symbol on the bottom of the case. “The Lanterns do delivery now?” His small smirk is still on his face as he hands the case back to Bruce. “Wish I’d known that, I have some samples myself I’d like to get ahold of.”

“Lanterns? Lanterns don’t deliver.” Bruce looks down at the symbol on the bottom of the case, before placing it back on his work bench. He makes his way over to the big computer, purpose in his strides.

Tim follows behind, smile still on his face. “True, not in general no. They have been known to make the occasional exception though. ”

“When?”

Tim flinches, not at the sharpness of Bruce’s tone, but at the fact that he may have to tell his Father something his brother didn’t want him to know.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket, texting Jason a warning without looking. “Kyle’s brought Jay a few things once or twice.”

Bruce glances at Tim out of the corner of his eye as he pulls up the security feed for the cave, but doesn’t make any further comment. He knew that the younger Lantern and Jason were friends of a sort since their “space adventures” with Donna Troy. What things Kyle could be bringing is second son, Bruce isn’t sure he wants to actually know.

He brings up the security feed for the day, as the box had not been there when Batman had called it a night at 3 that morning; setting it to run through at 3x it’s normal speed.

He could feel Tim watching from over his shoulder, could just see him bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet.

“Tim…is there something you’re not telling me?”

The teen tilts his head in thought, tapping a finger to his chin. “No, don’t think so.”

Bruce recognizes the light in Tim’s blue eyes. He’s being teased. Tim knew something he didn’t, but it wasn’t an important fact for Bruce, or Batman, to know. Which meant it was a societal thing that he had missed.

“_Tim_.”

“Nope.” He says, popping the ‘p’ obnoxiously. “We’re having way too much fun.”

“We? Who exactly is **we**?” Bruce shoots a glare over his shoulder at his smirking third child.

Tim just returns the glare with a wide smile, points of his teeth showing. “Well me, obviously. Dick, Jay, Steph, Clark, Diana, and Alfred.”

Bruce holds the glare for a few extra moments before sighing, defeated. He turns back to look at the footage he had pulled up, muttering a sullen, “You were supposed to be the _nice_ one.”

Tim laughs, patting Bruce on the shoulder. “You left a lot of my training to Dick, remember? I also have Jason as an older brother, and I’m bestfriends with a speedster from the future and a clone of Superman. Sass is a survival instinct at this point in my life.”

Bruce starts to say something in reply to that when the Cave’s security finally reveals something useful.

Though still puzzling.

Very few League members had access to the Cave, let alone the ability to enter without the systems alerting the family. The only ones with such free access were the founding members of the Justice League; though it was rarely used by anyone other than Barry and occasionally Clark.

So to see Hal Jordan flying in through the waterfall entrance, take a quick look around before placing the case on his work bench, and leaving the same way he came in, leaves Bruce more than a bit confused.

He looked over his shoulder to question Tim again, only to find both his son and Alfred looking at him, knowing smiles on their faces. They say nothing however, both silent as they enjoy Bruce’s struggling.

He opens his mouth once more to say something, but instead turns back to watch the replay of the footage; trying to puzzle out it’s meaning.

’_Why would Hal Jordan of all people, be leaving me…what? Gifts?_ ’

He turns back around several minutes later, to find both Tim and Alfred gone. Leaving him alone in the Cave with his thoughts. He glances once more at the footage, staring at the paused image of Hal placing the case on his work bench, before shaking his head and heading to the lockers.

A good night of crime solving and punching criminals in the face, would hopefully help with his mood, and help get his thoughts in order.

* * *

Bruce stews over the odd revelation that Hal Jordan is leaving him gifts for several weeks, though no further gifts appear.

He’d gone back into the records once he realized Hal was the one leaving him things, and discovered that the Lantern always left shortly after the gifts had appeared. Like he didn’t want to see how they were recieved. If the reaction was good or bad. As if he was nervous.

Not afraid

Hal didn’t do fear. It was both an admirable and frustrating quality. One that all Green Lanterns shared, but that Hal himself seemed to have in spades.

Tim must have also let the others know, because he’s been getting sly looks from Diana and Dick ever since; Tim and Clark have both been giggling at odd moments, and Jason. Jason has steadfastly avoided the Manor since.

Though that may be more due to the fact that he questioned what things Kyle Raynar may be giving him, rather than because he wouldn’t be able to not hold back teasing his father.

When he had tried to talk out the puzzle with Alfred, his butler/father had only raised a silver brow elegantly at him and stated, “I was not aware I had raised a Detective that is so blind to the clues before him.” And refused to help him further, or listen to his complaints.

So he had been forced to wallow in his own misery, for weeks, as he tried to figure out why a man who constantly argued with him, made his life hell, snarked and bantered almost as well as his Robin’s, is kind to a fault, despite how much his life has shit on him, and even ( though he won’t admit even on pain of death) made him laugh more than once in recent years, would be giving him……….

“Son of a bitch.”

The final peice falls into place, hitting him like a swing from Harley’s mallet. Luckily he’s already on the Watchtower, and he knows, that for once, Hal is as well. He leaves his quarters, moving with a speed usually dedicated to emergencies. Thankfully he runs into no one on his travels through the halls of the Tower.

He reaches the landing dock where the Javelin sits primed and ready for flight at anytime. Hal is floating at it’s underbelly, checking the machine over for damage.

There is no one there but himself and Hal. Another small stroke of luck Bruce is quietly thankful for.

Bruce makes sure to make noise as he enters the hangar; knowing that the silent way he and his family moved, unnerves quite a few members of the JLA. The fact that even Jason who wore more armour, and carried enough weapons to be classified as a moving armoury, could still move as quiet as a breeze annoyed a great many people.

Hal looks up when he hears Bruce cough as he enters the hangar, tilting his head backwards, looking at Bruce upside down. Brown hair almost like a halo as he floats beneath the Javelin.

“Bats. Y'need something?”

Hal rights himself and glides down to the deck below, touching down in front of Bruce as he reaches the shuttle, knees bent slightly as his feet meet the deck floor. He straightens up and brown eyes meet serious blue. Bruce’s eyes look all over Hal’s face, not entirely sure himself what he’s looking for.

He watches as Hal brings his hand up, to rub at the back of his head, brown eyes looking over Bruce’s shoulder, suddenly not meeting his eyes.

“If this is about the things I left for you, I can stop if you’re not into it.”

Nervousness creeps into his voice, and it’s the willingness to show that sort of emotion out in the open that decides it for Bruce. He’s honestly hoping he hasn’t read the situation wrong. But going by the reaction of his family and his two closest friends, he’s sure his own gift will be well recieved.

Hal starts only slightly as Bruce reaches up, one hand cupping Hal’s jaw, turning him back to face Bruce.

Then Bruce’s mouth is on his, gentle but firm, no hesitation. No fear.

Hal grins into it before bringing his own hand up to tangle in Bruce’s short black hair, turning his head just slightly so he can kiss back properly.

It only takes a moment for the kiss to go from something chaste to decidedly not, as both parties reciprocate, using lips, tongues, teeth, and hands to say what words and gestures failed to.

Hal only breaks the kiss after his back hits the side of the Javelin, chuckling lightly as he catches his breath. “Well I’ll be damned.”

Bruce let’s a small grin show himself, as he pulls back enough to look Hal in the eyes. “I’m sorry I’m not very good at -”

“I dunno, I though that was pretty good, but if it’s practice you’re lookin’ for, I’m more than willing to be a Guinea pig.”

Bruce scowls slightly, “I meant with words. Expressing emotion. I’m not good with that aspect of relationships, especially in my personal life. Just ask any of my children.”

The teasing fades from Hal’s smile as the hand he had wrapped around Bruce’s hair starts carding through it softly.

“Oh, sweetheart, I went into this with eyes wide open. I know exactly what I’m getting into, and I’m in this for whatever it takes to get through that thick skull of yours.”

“Good.” Is all Bruce has to say on that as he pulls Hal back in.

They break apart again a few minutes later, and Hal is smirking against his mouth, nipping at the corner gently. “Took you long enough, Detective.”


End file.
